If we are going to start today off at its official time, this is how my day went…
Lights flashing, people blurring and laughing. Laughing hard, from the bottom of my stomach. I was so happy to do something I took advantage of in termtime - clubbing with my best friends. Two of them came back on Monday and that night Anna, Chris and I went out. So at 12.01am I was jumping up and down with a massive grin on my face, slightly intoxicated and feeling so lucky to be in such good company. I can’t think of a better way to start the day…
As I was in such high spirits, when the music stopped and the room was engulfed with bright white light, I denied that the night was over, and when asked if I wanted to go to an after party.. I insisted on it! After a twenty minute walk (In an indistinguishable Irish accent: “Its only round the corner I tell ya”) we arrived at a quirky semi-detached house, currently being rented by four Irish lads, and one lad (“The lad is practically Irish, his mam has irish blood”) who was not…
The dining room was full of an interesting mix of people, lesbians, a qualified ballet teacher, co workers, guys they play football with, IRISH PEOPLE, oh and us students.. the atmosphere was lighthearted and jokey- everyone was getting on fine until suddenly a fight broke out of nowhere, glass was smashed, there was a lot of shouting! And Anna, Chris and I found ourselves walking home feeling rather surreal in the morning light, still intoxicated, merry and slightly amused - taking the piss out of the people we had just met.
Mmm bed.. SHIT it’s 2pm and I have my poledancing lesson at 4pm! … And I am still drunk. Toast toast toast, shortbread shortbread, ahhhh cuppa tea. Time for a sunbed? Why not. So, I’m waiting for the beauty place to reopen (as the sign says ‘back in ten’) across the street in a cafe as the man so kindly said that I could.. and he offers me a smoothie, which I pick up and am about to take a sip when one of the waitresses said she had made it for herself, but oh well, she guesses I could have it! Bit awkward. I wish now that I had gone fuck it, and drank it. However, I didn’t want to ruin her life so I kindly refused the smoothie and made an excuse for myself, leaving to go get that sunbed I had been waiting for!
I arrive at poledancing, feeling a bit whoozy from the boozy, and hot from the.. sunbed. And its all going really well! I do love poledancing and I am asking the woman about her job.. as she does this for a living, (Not just teaching people how to poledance for fun.. but she does it for pay, and lapdancing too) which I find very interesting. She’s being very encouraging and saying how well I am doing, picking up quite difficult moves (What can I say, some people are born to find an antidote to cancer, and I was born to poledance - for fun of course, not pay) and she pops in some quite awkward comments, about: how “some moves you can only do in a thong so your bum crack grips the pole - that why we clean it”.
Shortly followed by a job proposal.. to get my vagina out to dirty old married man, and first year virgins who couldn’t touch a fanny even if they could access rohypnol. I don’t know about you guys but I don’t particularly want my bum crack stuck to a metal pole thats been cleaned with nail varnish remover either, but what can i say.. the vagina thing is a slightly bigger deal.
Regardless of this, I still considered it. I know I know. Dirty bitch. It’s not like that, I just thought how much money I could make, how much I could relieve myself financially and how EASY it would be to do it. This was the second bundle of thoughts after hearing I should consider working there. I soon entered phase three when my boyfriend voiced his opinion… and I quote… “Brilliant, so men can pay to see my girlfriends vagina. Somehow I don’t think I will be waking up in the morning and going ‘cool’”. This made me laugh, but also brought about the realisation of what the job actually consists of and how degrading it is. I could never do that. It just isn’t who I am.
I have complete respect for the women who make a living from stripping. It is degrading, not only from your own opinions but from others. People look at you differently without thinking you are a person. The women I have met have children, or are desperate for the money. However, I won’t be joining their ranks any time soon.
The day was finished wonderfully with a trip to the cinema to watch Harry Potter with a friend I feel so lucky to be able to see right now.. Anna. I sobbed awkwardly through the entire thing, my face and neck soaked with tears.. my chin and breasts covered in triple chocolate muffin goo! I am.. what the define as a SEXY BEAST.
When I arrived back at my University Accomodation, I automatically turned on my Macbook Pro (ehhemm.. had to slip that in..), I didn’t expect anyone to be online so late but was pleasantly suprised to find both Claire and PJ online. PJ offered me a place blogging on his online newspaper as a style reporter. At the time I was very excited, but after trying to blog about fashion in a sarcastic tone, with him now offline and not able to direct me.. I soon realised.. I was shit at it. On the bright side, it was early in America, so I was able to have a nice long skype session with another of my best friends.. Claire. I did slightly ruin the tone of conversation when i burst into tears and exclaimed ” I KNOW YOU THINK I AM A MEAN PERSON”.. on looking at Claire’s shocked, freaked out expression. No.. No Claire does not think Lara mean. Lara good friend. Lara stupid. Cries loudly: “I’m sorry Claire I’m sorry! I was just worried”.
All I can say is.. today has been emotional!
I have decided to use my blog space as a journal of the daily kerfuffles i come across in my life.. a bit lighthearted and just generally how silly I am. I hope you all enjoyed my pilot.. As only friends are following me.. if you have finished reading this far I hope you will give me your opinion on what you think!! Thankyou for your time :)
“I should have known when she told me she didn’t like dogs… Never, ever, EVER trust ANYONE who says they dont like dogs. You meet someone who doesn’t like dogs, you alert the authorities immediately and you sure as SHIT don’t marry them.”—